A Very Minor Demon
By P. M. Griffin

e should have been terrifying.  He was not.  At first glance, there was nothing particularly imposing about him at all, and Agnes took him for an extraordinarily large cat when she saw him sitting in the oily pool of rain water in the alley flanking her apartment.

He had been yowling like any six of that species, loudly enough to draw her to his assistance despite the wind, lashing rain, and closed windows, but he fell into a soft whimpering as soon as she folded his shivering body in the blanket, experience and a strong survival instinct had moved her to aid in the rescue.

Even when she deposited her 25 lb. captive in the sink and shampooed the potentially deadly oil out of his coat, she was not aware of anything particularly odd about him save for his size and astonishing docility.  It was only when she began to blow dry his coat that she took a good look at him.

Had she been either less well disciplined or possessed of a weak heart, Agnes Doherty would have been in trouble.  As it was, her eyes widened to a degree that would have been comical under other circumstances, and she very nearly dropped her drier, which was only six weeks old.

This was no cat.  It was no dog, either, or anything else that she wanted to identify.

The creature’s fur, where it had dried, was a dark brown, almost but not quite black.  It was coarse and about an inch long over most of the body, although it was only a quarter that length on the face, hands, and feet.  It was bipedal with relatively human-like hands and feet, both tipped with short, sharp red claws.

The eyes were red as well.  They were small, round, and set forward in a manner that suggested good binocular vision.  The nose was like a flattened dog’s snout.  It protruded slightly over the thin line of the mouth, which opened in that moment in a wide yawn that revealed a full set of very pointed little white teeth.  There was no tail, rather to her surprise, and no visible ears, but crowning the head above the temples were a pair of small, impressively sharp black horns.

“What in this world or beyond it are you?” the woman asked aloud, although her strict, traditional upbringing and fine imagination had already combined to supply a highly unwelcome answer.

“I’m a demon,” her strange foundling replied.  “A very minor one,” he added to reassure her.  “My name is Elroy.”

“Elroy?”

The self-confessed demon nodded his partly dry head.  “We changed our names when we switched allegiance and lost the fight.  The Big Ones called me that to torment me.  It means ‘the king,’ you see, and I’m so very insignificant.”

“That’s logical, I suppose,” she admitted as she reactivated the drier.  “I’m Agnes.  Miss Agnes Doherty.  You’re welcome here.  I think.”

“Oh, I don’t mean any harm!” Elroy insisted.  “I’m on vacation.”

“Vacation?  They let you folks travel out?”

“Of course.  Hell is a really dreary place.  Most demons need a break now and then, every millennium or two, just to keep their wits sharp and spice in the malice, so to speak.  Besides, it’s deadly boring when one has nothing particular to do.”

“I thought you people spent your time tormenting the other damned,” Agnes remarked.

“That the Imps of Wickedness’ job.  I tried it once, but I was dreadful at it.  I don’t seem to enjoy hurting things.”

“So you took a holiday?  Why sit in a dirty puddle, then?”

“You can’t just take off.  You have to get permission first.  In fact, I’d never tried before.  It’s against the rules to bother someone who’s on vacation, and I was afraid I’d just be refused.  My supervisor only laughed, which should have warned me, then he picked me up and tossed me out here and told me to have fun on my new throne.”  He gave a loud sniff.  “He’s probably still laughing—”

Agnes watched in alarm as two great droplets boiled down his cheeks and sizzled onto the counter.  Hastily, she pulled a lace-edged handkerchief from her pocket and thrust it into his hands.  “Here.  For heaven’s sake stop, or at least wait until I can sit you on a hot plate.  I just had that counter resurfaced!”

“Sorry, Miss Agnes.”

“There’s supposed to be a lot of weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth where you come from.  I suppose it becomes habit after a while.”

“Only among the humans for the wailing and teeth-gnashing.  As for the rest of us, the Big Ones are far too proud for such behavior, and they get annoyed if any of the small ones resort to it.  They’re dreadful when they’re annoyed.”

“No doubt.”

The woman studied him for several moments.  “I confess that I am at a loss as to what to do about you, Elroy,” she said in the end.  “I really cannot throw you or anything else with a spark of life in it out into a night like this, but I’m not at all comfortable about housing, er, one of your persuasion.”

“I’ll be good!” her visitor promised eagerly.  “I’m really awful at making trouble even when I’m supposed to be doing it, and now I’m on vacation.  I don’t even have to try.”

Agnes laughed despite herself.  “Elroy, how did you manage to fall in the first place?”

She stopped, horrified at her rudeness, but her guest appeared to accept the question as perfectly natural and appropriate.  “It was like this,” he explained.  “I knew I’d never be anything important myself, but a rebellion, now that was really something, and I could have a role in that—”

“But there are two sides in a revolution.  Couldn’t you just as well have taken a role in the loyal camp?”

He nodded glumly.  “I didn’t think of that at the time.  Besides, our Big Ones made it all sound so magnificent and exciting.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” she muttered, recalling a few young people of her own species whom she had encountered during the course of her fairly long life.

“I never imagined it would go so far, Miss Agnes,” he told her defensively, “or that anything would actually happen to anyone.”

“That doesn’t surprise me, either.”

The woman finished with the blower and set it down.  “There!  You look a bit fluffy, but your coat should settle down after a while.  Well, Elroy, you can stay with me for a bit, for a day or so at any rate, until you decide what you want to do, provided you behave, of course.  If that’s agreeable to you, we can see about making you comfortable for the duration.”

“Oh, yes!  I only want peace and quiet for my holiday.  Really.”

“What about food?  Do you eat, and if so, what?”

He nodded vigorously.  “We all eat when we take on material form.  Cat food will be fine for me.  We small ones’re carnivores.  I would like to have it off a real plate, though,” he concluded wistfully.

“Of course, you shall.  You’re my guest.”

She lifted him off the counter.  “It’s too late to go furniture shopping now, but I’ll fix up a nice little nest for you in the living room for tonight, and we’ll look for something more suitable tomorrow.”

At this, the demon’s face fell.  He glanced wistfully through the door of the bedroom.

Agnes drew herself erect.  “Now, Elroy, that is impossible.”

“But why?  The chaise—”

“Oh my—  There is no delicate way of saying this.  I don’t want to hurt your feelings, dear, but you are a sentient being, and, well, it is obvious that you have not been-neutered.”

Elroy looked down at himself.  “Oh.”  He glanced up.  “Hairy demons usually travel like this when we’re in body, but I could find something—”

“This is natural for you?”  He nodded.  “Stay the way you are, then,” she told him with a sigh.  “I have never cared for stud pants on cats, though I appreciate the need for them.  You are to sleep in the living room, however.”

“Yes, Miss Agnes,” Elroy responded meekly.

A new thought struck his hostess.  “You are-housebroken?”

“Miss Agnes!”

"Yes.  Of course, you are.  I’m sorry, Elroy.”

*      *     *     *     *

An all-night convenience store yielded the requested cat food, which was promptly taken home, heated, served, and devoured.  A quiet night followed and a rising somewhat earlier than would normally have been the case because Agnes was expecting company that morning and wanted to put the place in order.

“We’ll go shopping for your bed when Margaret leaves,” she promised.  As long as Elroy remained her guest, she was determined that he would be appropriately accommodated.

That was for later.  More pressing matters concerned her at the moment.  “Try to keep a low profile while Margaret’s here,” she pleaded.  “She’s not an animal person the way I am and has always found it strange that I keep and foster cats.  If she finds a demon here, even a small one—” She shook her head.  “I think she is so eager to come now because I’ve just lost Suzy, and she doesn’t think even I can have found room in my heart for another fur friend this quickly.”

*     *     *     *     *

Agnes misjudged her friend in that.  She and Margaret Simmons scarcely finished the exchange of the most significant news concerning their respective families and mutual acquaintances when the newcomer settled back against the soft pillows of the love seat with a resigned sigh.  “All right, Agnes,” she said.  “Produce your latest foundling.  I know very well that some pitiful feline has weaseled its way in here by now.  You have ‘welcome’ in kitty language printed right across your forehead.”

“Well, actually—”

Agnes’ breath caught in horror as Elroy casually ambled into the room as if on cue.  He was walking on all fours, which he did quite as smoothly as he moved on the more natural two, but that effort did nothing to reduce his basic oddness.

Margaret stared.  “That has got to be the ugliest cat I have ever seen in all my life!”

“Why, shame on you, Maggie Mullins Simmons!” she responded indignantly.  “You know full well that every animal is unique and has his or her own beauties—”

“That one is unique, all right.”

"I find him charming.  He’s quite intelligent and a very interesting companion.”

“Well, I wish you the joy of him, because you certainly are not going to find too many other ready takers for him.”

The demon strode out of the room again as if unaware of their conversation.  He entered the bedroom, which was not out of bounds to him as long as Agnes was not using or about to use it herself, jumped on the bed, and curled up, apparently to take a nap.

The remainder of the visit went smoothly.  Tea was eventually made, and then the two friends separated once more.

Agnes accompanied Margaret downstairs and watched at the door until she had driven out of sight around the corner, then she returned to her apartment.  “Elroy, come here.”

The demon complied at once.  “Yes, Miss Agnes?”

“What did you do to Margaret?  You do not resemble a cat, not once someone has had a chance to get half a look at you.”

“I didn’t do anything.  Truly.  It wasn’t necessary.  Humans usually see what they expect to see.  You’re always taking in cats.  Demons are something else.  Most of your species don’t even believe we exist any more, Margaret among them.  Besides,” he added practically, “she is quite nearsighted, and I didn’t get too close to her.”

The woman nodded.  Margaret was a wonderful person, but she could not be described as being gifted with an overly active imagination, and her reading had been more or less limited to romance novels and the daily papers since she had left high school.  Someone like Elroy was just about the last thing she would anticipate encountering on a social call to a straight-laced old friend.

Curiosity, on the other hand, had always been a major constituent of Agnes’ makeup.  She now studied the strange, rather pathetic little creature.  “Elroy, what did you look like before?  Before you changed allegiance?  If it’s not too painful to discuss, of course.”

“Oh, no, it’s not painful.  Just hard to describe in your language.”  His brows scrunched up in a frown.  “I guess I was sort of the spiritual equivalent of one of those little fat, winged babies humans put on greeting cards.”

She made a face.  “I hate to say it, but this is an improvement.”

He nodded unhappily.  “I know, but existence was a lot more fun then. There’s none of that at all now, especially if you don’t like teasing things.”

“Can’t you go back to having fun?” she asked softly.

“No,” he answered with a surprisingly stern resignation.  “That’s quite impossible.  We all knew what we did, you see.  We knew precisely to Whom we were saying no.  We all had our reasons for doing it, even me, though mine wasn’t very important, just like myself.”

Both were silent after that.

“There’s no point in crying over what can’t be changed,” Agnes said briskly in the end, pleased that her effort to sound natural had succeeded.  “I take it that you’re still game for shopping.  There is a craftsman at the mall who makes the most beautiful doll’s beds, perfect replicas of old style real ones.  They have fine, thick mattresses and even sheets and blankets to go with them.  One of them will make a whimsical accent for my living room once you go home again and will probably serve as a bed for my next kitty as well.”

“I’m game.  Demons back from holiday speak favorably about shopping.  It must be grand fun.”  He saw uncertainty begin to cloud her expression and surmised the reason.  “No one will see me,” he assured her quickly.  “It’s a bit harder that way, but I’ll stay invisible.  I won’t embarrass you at all.”

“Very well,” she conceded.  “Let’s go, then.  It’s late now, and all the other shoppers will be out in force.  We’ll probably have some trouble finding a parking space in the garage, so prepare for a long walk when we get there.”

*     *     *     *     *

Her prediction proved all too accurate, and Agnes sighed as she made her way back to her vehicle after an otherwise highly successful shopping trip.  She had been forced to leave it on the second level from the bottom in an out-of-the-way corner.

Her lips tightened as she drew near to it.  This part of the big multi-level facility was now utterly deserted, and it was damnably poorly lit as well.  Merely by parking here and returning so late, she had provided fuel to a crime waiting to happen.

Her shoulders squared.  There was no help for that now.  The best she could do at this stage was to get to her car as quickly as possible, stow her purchases, and make her escape to some more desirable location, that and resolve never to behave so stupidly again.

She straightened after pushing her bundles onto the back seat, but the relief she had felt withered as she just detected a flicker of movement on the outermost edge of her field of vision.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw two young men moving in her direction.  They were not hurrying, but there was purpose about them and something else, a sort of swagger that she had never noticed in other youths.

Agnes’ mouth was dry.  What was she to do?  They were probably perfectly innocent, but she was all too conscious of her vulnerability.  There was no one around to hear her if she screamed, and she knew she could never be in the car and away before they reached her.  As for trying to outrun them, the idea was laughable even under these circumstances…

The pair came up to her, one positioning himself on either side of her, even as she fumbled with the key.

Numbly, Agnes held out her purse.  A little cash, credit cards that could be stopped.  Let them go.  Her life was worth more.  Her health meant more.

The youth on her right sneered at her.  “Get in.”

“That old bat?” his companion protested.  “Just grab the bag and let’s—”

The other responded with a curt obscenity before fixing his gaze on Agnes once more.  His eyes were cruel and were filled with a hatred and a malice that she found difficult to credit as emanating from one of her own species.  “Inside, I—”

He did not finish the command.  His mouth dropped open, even as did that of his comrade.

Agnes’ head turned in the direction of their fixed stare.  She gasped and then whimpered in terror.

Elroy was appalling, a dark-coated monstrosity shimmering in a lurid red light of his own making.  Heat radiated from him.  The woman could see scraps of paper on the floor beside him begin to curl and char, and she thought uneasily of the patches of grease and oil inevitable in such a place.

Even dread of a conflagration faded as she continued to study the demon.  The roof was a good twelve feet high, but it just cleared the wicked points of his massive horns.  Teeth that were daggers glinted behind the snarl-parted lips.  Scarlet talons crowned the flexing digits of the huge hands.

“Get back!”  The second youth had pulled a gun.

Two blood-hued eyes fixed on the weapon.  It melted, covering its wielder’s palm, wrist, and fingers with a metal glove.

The human broke and ran.

The first man made no attempt to follow.  He stared at the apparition, eyes glazed, mouth open, a thin trickle of saliva glistening in the demon’s light.  He nodded once, then again and again, ever faster until his head was bobbing in a seemingly perpetual shiver.

"Drive home, Miss Agnes.”

The familiar little voice sounded incongruous coming from that titanic body, and the woman could not be sure whether she had actually heard it or if it had only rung in her mind.  It broke the hold of her terror, however, and she scrambled into her vehicle, frantic to distance herself from this frightful place.

*     *     *     *     *

Agnes was still trembling when the tap of claws against the parquet floor caused her to look up.  The demon had returned.  He was wearing his old form.

“Oh, Elroy, you fibbed to me.”

“No, Miss Agnes, I didn’t.  That’s what damnation does, even before death seals it.  The fallen fear everything.  Even a minor little nothing demon becomes an awesome force to them.  I just had to let you see what they were seeing, or you might’ve given everything away.  Then things would’ve gotten messy, and you might’ve been hurt or damaged in some other way.”

“Like that boy?”  Anyone’s mind could shatter given enough horror, and Agnes Doherty did not credit herself with a superabundance of either spiritual or psychological strength.  “Those men are lost, then?”

“Yes, right now.  The braver one might repent.  He knows what he saw even if no one’ll believe him, and he had the upbringing to let him identify what I am.”

“Religious?” she asked in horror.  “How could he have—”

“That doesn’t make people immune, only better armed.  We just have to try harder to get them.”

“The other one has no hope?”

“Well, he’s a real bad case, Miss Agnes.  My Master would consider him secure, but your Boss is incredibly willing to let even the worst worms off the hook, so if there’s a chance, I suppose he’ll be given it.  At least, he won’t be doing any more damage the way he is.  He’s not going to heal again.”

Agnes studied the demon closely for several minutes until he squirmed under her scrutiny.  “Elroy,” she said slowly and very quietly at the end of that time, “I do not wish to be indelicate, but those boys failed to rob and harm me, one or both of them might eventually repent, if only out of fear, and the worse of the pair is no longer capable of functioning as an agent of evil.  How much are you going to be held responsible for what happened in that garage?”

“I couldn’t let them hurt you, could I?” he muttered.

“But they’ll blame you, the Big Ones will?”

His face screwed up, and she hastily handed him a handkerchief as the first tear bubbled forth.  “Elroy, please!  You’ll take the finish off the floor!”

“Sorry,” he sniffed, “but—”

“Now, try to control yourself.  We must think of a way to protect you.—You are on vacation,” she suggested hopefully.

“That allows for a lot, but not this much.  The Big Ones, the Master himself, will be steaming.  They really do steam, too.  Ohhh—”

“Elroy!—All right.  You just can’t go back, that’s all.  You’ll stay right here with me, sort of on perpetual holiday.  Your associates won’t be able to trouble you then.”

The woman’s smile faded as she recognized the flaw in her plan.  Even in the unlikely event that she lived another forty years, what was that against all the remainder of eternity?

“It will be a nice vacation to remember, even during the worst.”  He sniffed.  “I know you’d like to help, Miss Agnes, but there’s nothing anyone can do, nothing permanent.”

“Don’t let me hear any more of that kind of talk!  Why, you would not believe some of the hard cases I’ve fostered, and I found good, loving homes for every one of those poor kitties.”

Suddenly, her eyes flew wide, and she clapped her hands together.  “Elroy, that’s the answer!  It’s so simple!  You’ll just come along with me!”

“Miss Agnes?”

“When I die.”

“No!” Elroy wailed.  “I’m on vacation.  I’m not supposed to do harm!  You wouldn’t like Hell—”

“I have no intention of going to Hell,” she snapped impatiently.  “Of course, I would not like it.  The climate is reported to be atrocious, and from your report, the population is insufferable.  No, my small, sharp-toothed foundling, you shall accompany me to Heaven.”

“Miss Agnes!”

“No more,” she commanded with finality.  “I discussed the whole subject with the Lord years ago.  He knows I could not be happy anywhere without my little pets, and I certainly could find neither peace nor fulfillment if any of my poor charges were languishing without proper homes.  I have taken charge of you.  You are already part of the spiritual realms, and, therefore, you must accompany me since it will not be possible to place you adequately here on Earth.  Hell is even more impossible.  I would not restore a cat to an abusive situation, and certainly I cannot do so with you.  As far as I can see, that leaves us with but one option.”

The red eyes watched her in amazement.  “Do you really think it’s possible?  Maybe the Lord would even—”

“One step at a time, Elroy.  He will let you in.  What may happen after that, I cannot know, though I’ve always striven to find good, permanent homes for my foundlings.”

Suddenly, Agnes felt unsure of the promise she had just made with such certainty.  She stole a look at her foundling, then fixed her eyes on her hands.  The pitiful creature was a demon in fact.  He was a singularly poor one, and the reasons for his rebellion were almost ludicrous, but he had rebelled.  He could not be admitted to the glory of Heaven again.

Hope stirred once more in her heart, and with it determination.  The full splendor of Heaven, the sight and company of the Lord Most High, were and would remain closed to him, but there was another, albeit lesser, possibility.  It was her firm belief that animals, too, found a place, their own place, in the spiritual realm.  She did not imagine that they shared in the supernatural privileges granted to the angels and the elect among humans, but they would experience every happiness and comfort natural to their individual species.  They would continue their relationships with those people they loved in this life.  She and Elroy might well be allowed to enter such a state.  It would cost her much of what she had hoped to gain, but if it assured the safety of this little friend who had entered into such awesome peril to help her, so be it.

The woman’s breath caught.  They might even be of use to their fellow creatures.  There was so much to be done, so many cats needing rescue, and so much would remain when she was called from this life.  Perhaps they would be allowed, or be commanded, to continue helping those who could do so little for themselves.  Perhaps they would be set to straightening out people whose souls were straying and endangered…

Agnes laughed in her own mind.  That was planning entirely too grand a future for herself given her very limited abilities and even more limited virtues!  Cats, she could help.  Humans were another matter.

“Miss Agnes?”  His voice trembled.  He had sensed the change in her and feared the human’s wonderful plan would have to be abandoned.

The woman offered a quick, intense prayer that they would be judged as she reasoned and so deeply desired.  “I was just thinking, Elroy,” she told him hastily.  “We might be expected to work when we get there, maybe helping other creatures.  Would that be agreeable to you?”

“Yes!  I’d love to help!  I loved helping you, and it’ll be even better if those two men repent.  Even if it will make the Big Ones a lot madder.”  He shuddered and then looked at her hopefully.  “What now, Miss Agnes?”

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