Darkwolf
Release Date: 2004
DVD Encoding: Region 1
Rated R

Let’s begin the same way Darkwolf begins, “Oh, yeah baby! You know what daddy likes.”

Nudity! And plenty of it.

Gory Violence! And plenty of it.

Crappy CGI! And plenty of it.

Well, we don’t necessary like the crappy computer generated images (CGI). Typically, CGI has the remarkable ability to bring stunning animated images to life when combined with unbelievable cinematography. But if you can’t get that, you can get Darkwolf.

What about the story itself? That’s our question too. Where’s the story? I believe it lies somewhere between the naked chicks making out during a rooftop photo shoot and the copious, blood-splattered walls. If you can follow the mindless, plot you’ll notice that the director stuck with basic horror guidelines:

1. let the black characters get killed first
2. slutty chicks inevitably get killed
3. cool dialogue like, “Well, if it isn’t the big bad wolf.”
4. get-away-from-the-monster-cars that won’t start

When reflecting on the rental worthiness of Darkwolf, there is honestly only one word:

Boobies!

And plenty of them.