Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
Release Date: 2001
DVD Encoding: Region 1
Rated R

Spend your evening seeing a well-crafted twenty minute tale told in a drawn out, hour-and-a-half cinematic feature.

In this new release the Dunpeal, named D (let’s call him Mr. Monotone), chases after a young lass, who, of course, has been kidnapped by a vampire. Hence the cleverly devised movie title, Vampire Hunter.

But Mr. Monotone is not the only vampire hunter, else the viewers’ ears would begin to bleed from his incessant droning. Enter the Markus Brothers, a rag-tag bunch of vampire hunters who travel in a fortified, trackless train. Of these brothers, the story focuses greatly on Leila, the effeminate brother. Oh wait, Leila was a woman...brother? This obviously means that she is the only brother to not be bleeding profusely by the credits.

As the story progresses, viewers easily discern that what the movie lacked in action it more than makes up for in introspective dialogue. This dialogue is often spurred on by the face in D’s hand. We’ll call him Handy. Besides providing the dialogue, Handy sucks a lot, literally.

Did we mention crosses? There are a few...here and there...and there...and here and there. And there.

And here.

And there.

...and here and there.

In short, would it be better to sit at home and watch Vampire Hunter D or spend time with a face implanted in your palm? As appealing as that may sound, we’ll take the movie every time.

Oh, look. Another cross.