Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters
Release Date: 2003
DVD Encoding: Region 1
Rated R

Gee, what to watch tonight. Kung-fu or vampires? I know. Let’s throw in some top quality, B-movie special effects and watch both in Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters. Our foray into the world of the Chinese undead begins with four overly zealous heroes, Wind, Rain, Thunder, and Lightning (later dubbed Hei, Fat, Kung, and Choi).

Led by their faithful master named...Master, they quickly learn the rules of dealing with vampires: if they touch you, you explode; they can drink blood from a good hundred yards away; and can’t see you if you’re wet? But that’s only for the first fifteen minutes because Master disappears soon after.

With no master to guide them, the movie deviates into our four heroes working for Master Jiang at his local Wax Museum (featuring his family). Apparently, Master Jiang is consumed with dunking his dead relatives in what is clearly Bavarian cream and placing them in his cellar.

While the majority of the movie features vampire hunters and no vampire, the movie does delve into the realm of zombies. These aren’t your typical zombies; these are the true-to-the-bone Chinese variety. What does that mean? They can’t walk, only bunny-hop. What else do they do? Nothin’.

When all is said and done, is this movie worth the time and $3.75 rental fee? Hell yeah!